I am NOT a Criminal. I Just Have A Lot to Say and Not Enough Places to Say It

It is Raymi's Birthday today but she was kind enough to send me a present.

raymi lauren said...
whats your email address i have a present for you

Sheena said...
My email is sheena_verputzout@hotmail.com. But now I'm scared.

Sheena said...
A very happy birthday Raymi. I hope it is fun and full of good blog material pictures. But, like where is MY present?

raymi lauren said...
i told you i need yer email address i have something to send you email me, raymitheminx.blogspot.com

raymi lauren said...
look what i found you criminal...

But you know what this means, right. Raymi's ass and Sheena's ass have been on the EXACT SAME toilet seat.

Eating Your Mistakes and Really Enjoying It

Hadn't been back to the Cheese Boutique in a few weeks and since we were in the area as part of phase 2 in a 3-step couch shopping regimen, dropped in for some weekend treats.

Picked up some fancy jam and the now-staple Bouq Emissaire. Tried two or three other Quebec cheeses until we settled on the Riopelle de l'Isle. Fabulous, rich and buttery. Most perfect with the Ace baguette also in the hand basket. I think we've worked our way through about 2/3 of the Quebec cabinet and I am close to planning a cheese-tour vacation this summer maybe as part of some car-racing nonsense.

Couldn't find my favourite little fruit & nut crackers but didn't ask. If they are not there next time I shall freak out. Knew I still had one more package of the Ryvita Pumpkin Seed & Oat crackers I bought last time I was in Winnipeg. Haven't seen them in Toronto yet. Very tasty in a nutty kind of way. If anyone has seen them please let me know where.

Thought we were done, then realized, what the hell are we going to have for dinner. So went back to the meat counter. Some gorgeous but pricey cuts. Saw some small NY strip loins pre-marinated in teriyaki garlic. Knew they'd be more expensive than grocery store steaks, but they looked smaller than the plain strip loins in the other counter. The clerk packaged them up (because they were wet, she had to put them in this heat sealed container and I felt bad because it took her 3 tries to get the seal to stick).

And then I looked at the price for the 2 steaks. $32. Yep. $32.

A wave of WTF went over me. I didn't really pay attention to the small print. The price was not in the unit of weight I expected, obviously. I ran over to El Chaperone and whispered what I just saw. WTF? He asked if I wanted to return them. I said, no.. no big deal. My fault for not reading the price correctly, and the girl put a lot of work into sealing them up properly. And well come on. I'd never blink twice about spending that for a couple of steaks in a restaurant, so we'd just deal with it.

And then I looked over at him and said: You better not fuck these up when you cook them.

So put them under the broiler - about 7 minutes each side (they were thicker than I realized), checked them, and then another minute or two. Perfectly medium. And they were so good I almost cried. Perfectly tender, melt in the mouth, lovely flavour from the marinade. A little side salad and the baguette with cheese and we could relax and smile.

In fact, I would consider getting them again. For a special occasion, perhaps, but sometimes you do get what you pay for.

Blood In the Streets - Updated Pics

Blood in the Streets

El Chaperone and I back to The Dakota yet again to see Run With The Kittens. I am really starting to love these guys. Fun fun fun.

Kitty-corner (no pun intended) from the Dakota on the other side of Ossington is a Portugese butcher shop. I noticed it on the way home from work because they had a bunch of whole still-hairy goat carcasses in the window. They were gone when we walked up later, but I am going to check back later today again.

When we got to the corner, we were overwhelmed with the stench of death. Rotten dead putrefying cloud of something. It was garbage day, but this was not any average garbage smell. Not even close. Not even in August. The sidewalk and curb were wet.

With blood.

Séparé à la naissance: Quebec Election Commentary Edition

Sheena speculates that perhaps it is one of those married couple who've been together for so long type of phenomenon.



merci Victor Immature for the visuals to supplement my vision

Quebec Election Hilarity

While following the
Live Election Blogging Hotstove over at Chuckercanuck's, checked out the CTV Live Results site to find out whether Charest had a comeback in him or not.

Clicked on the Hull riding button and got this:

Another Fiasco Dodged

After gobbling some lean and tender loin of pork and swallowing as much as I could... for DINNER you dirty minded bastards. With some garlic and ginger and lime marinade. AND a side salad. Cripes. We moseyed up the street to increasingly regular favourite hangout The Dakota Tavern.

First time we've paid cover charge there, but only $5 so no big deal. Until I realized I had no Canadian cash. But buddy took 5 American 1's so I didn't get ejected.

Sheena's favourite local microbrew these days is the Mill Street Tankhouse. Sounds very homey to me. Lovely flavour, nice complexity. The beer selection at the Dakota is great fun. Even have Cristal in bottles. Beer of the Communist Revolution. But of course I won't drink that. I prefer Batista Bitter.

Musical interlude by the long standing adhoc group
Dodge Fiasco. Oh what fun. Highly recommend catching them if you see a listing. Couldn't find a group Myspace listing or website, but the members are all out and about in a variety of other stuff. Left after the second set because sometimes I am a tired weenie. But will seek them out again.

Note to Self

Perhaps rethink any future dinner RSVPs to the Laramie household.

An Ottawa woman is recovering after eating dog food and then becoming violently ill, in a case possibly related to the rat-poison-laced pet food that has killed 14 dogs and cats and sickened dozens more across North America.

Elaine Larabie said yesterday she ate some dog food last week in an effort to convince her terrier, Missy, to do the same.

Soon afterward, both Larabie and Missy found themselves in the hospital - Larabie at an after-hours emergency room, and Missy at Ottawa's Alta Vista Animal Hospital.

Initially, the devoted dog owner did not think dog food made her sick. "I thought I caught a virus, but then I realized I ate the food, and put two and two together," she said.

For three days, she suffered a range of "confusing" and "embarrassing" symptoms, including loss of appetite, vomiting and foaming of the mouth. She also had problems urinating.

Belated Fuck the Airshow Part 2

Driving from the beach to Orlando last weekend and saw some signs near Titusville advertising that weekend's Warbird Airshow at the Space Coast Regional Airport.

It is no secret that Sheena hates this shit. Modern aviation is supposed to be about how flat the seat can go and unlimited on-demand movies and getting a better quality bubbly pre-takeoff. It is not supposed to be about ripping open the sky with screaming jets and threatening shadows and low flying bullies.

But El Chaperone likes this crap. So we pulled over on the side of the road with a hundred other cheap-ass gawkers. Watched some of the acrobatic stuff which can be a bit entertaining, but I played Brickbreaker during the screaming death metal finale.

Oh yeah, and a guy crashed and died there that weekend. Not while we were watching. But everybody agreed that he'd want the show to go on. What a trooper.

All Thoughts With Tony Snow At This Difficult Time

Presidential Spokesperson Tony Snow taking medical leave

Presidential spokesman Tony Snow is undergoing surgery Monday to remove a growth in his lower abdomen, a procedure he said was being done "out of an aggressive sense of caution" because he had colon cancer two years ago.

Unnamed medical sources suspect that in fact cancer has not returned but that Snow has developed an advanced case of CRI (CranialRectalInversion) , thereby demanding the attention of both proctologist AND neurologist. Thankfully, he is fully covered under the White House medical insurance program, unlike most of the Americans who will have to suck out and clean his inevitable colostomy bag in weeks to come.

Uh Oh

Free Wireless at Charlotte/Douglas Airport. Pretty Ironic for an airport with the code CLT, eh?

If a Tree Falls in the Forest....

Sheena is always on her best behaviour when in public and strives to do the right thing and ensure all around her are comfortable. This week she smacked head first into one of these long standing niggling weird issues that sometimes keep her up at night.

Many modern ladies bathrooms these days are wheel chair accessible and nicer newer places are specifically designed to be as accomodating and easy to navigate as possible. This is a good thing. The problem is when you are in a crowded restroom where there is a bit of a lineup, and by luck of the draw, you get the wheel chair stall. Now SOME handicapped stalls have a sink and towel dispenser right there in the stall. Great! no lineup, easier to put down bags and get oneself pulled together before facing the rest of the day.

But then you use the in-stall sink. And as you walk out, you realize - NOBODY ACTUALLY SAW YOU WASH YOUR HANDS. So you walk out of the restroom confidently and relieved, and as soon as the door swings closed this creepy crawly paranoid wave sweeps over and you wonder what people still in the bathroom are saying. "Did you see that? She didn't wash her hands. OMG, that's awful. I can't believe in this day and age..... "and so on and so forth until you feel like running back into the can and telling everyone that I USED THE IN-STALL SINK AND YES I DID SO WASH MY HANDS.

I don't have an answer to this one. But I haven't slept in 4 days because of it. Any advice gratefully accepted.

Surfer Dudes With Commentary

Sucking Back a Cold One From the Fountain of Youth

St. Augustine Florida is rich with history and legend (not to mention fun pubs and taverns as seen in previous episodes of SheenaVision. One of the more colourful and mysterious mythical treatments is that of Ponce De Leon and his quest for the Fountain of Youth. The Fountain of Youth Archeological Site is a tribute to the rich lore of this first apparent landing of Europeans in Florida and has for decades amused and intrigued tourists with stories of "what if".

The walk down the road to the park had the perfect mood of creepy crawly Spanish Moss canopy. The anticipation was palpable and we weren't disappointed when upon the welcome canteen and gift kiosk. Ponce and His Crew. We couldn't be more excited.



So paying the $7US/head, Sheena and El Chaperone set off on a quest for eternal youth. We came across the storied cabin. Inside we found a friendly guide, protecting a hidden trickling stream and apparently ancient stone cross.


Oh. THAT'S IT? Hmm... Geez. Somehow Sheena thought it might look a little more, umm... I dunno. Less toiletish? Am I being too picky? The $7 cover charge included a free drink each. So we gingerly and reverently took the specimen cup into our hands. Looked deep into each other's eyes. And drank. It tasted like licking a rusty fence. Metallic. Almost like sucking on a papercut. But I could feel the lines lift from my face. The smile break out. A relaxed state of mind take me over.



Oh wait a sec.
I guess that was afterwards ....

Best Sangria In The World (as at March 18, 2007)

At the recommendation of a friend, stopped in for a pitcher of Sangria at Columbia in St Augustine. Have not tasted anything like it before. Perfection. Sheena makes sangria every once in a while, usually when the red wine is shitty and there's a few oranges getting soft in the bottom of the fridge. But this is something else entirely.

Fascinated by how perfectly crystal clear it was. No murkiness from added juices like mine. A touch of something spicy like clove or cinnamon. Not overly sweet. Trick was to serve the fruit in the serving glass, not floating around randomly in the jug.

A must do. Food also looked fantastic, but didn't have any. Cabbage gas and all.

Happy St. Cabbage Farts Day

St. Patricks Day in the historic city of St. Augustine. The first European settlement in the now-United States. (Note I specifically did not say North America, so all you Vikings and Newfies please step down). Did the obligatory visit to the fort and the Fountain of Youth (more on that later). And then on to the more important activities of the day.

At no point were we able to find any decent food. Corned Beef and Cabbage. Corned Beef and Cabbage Dinner. Corned Beef and Cabbage on a Bun. "No, no we don't do any Irish Stew..." Nope, nada de fish and chips...Not even a little scrap of soda bread. I mean, Sheena lurves her some Corned Beef Hash but come on with the goddamn boiled cabbage already. Sheena here and now officially denounces her half-Ukrainian heritage and heretofore does vow never to allow any kapusta dish now and forever more to pass through her lips. From either direction.

It was a long day. Highlight was just one drunk ass (not Sheena, btw) dred-locked blonde tart on high heeled boots taking a header into the parking lot around 7pm. Actually no.. the REAL highlight was the wannabe 13 year old sk8trboi who shit his falling down around the knee pants when a half-breed pitbull from the tat shop across from Jack's on A1A (more on that later) accidentally got loose.

Hey Erin, I dares you to Go Braughless.

BBQ Beef at RL's

Driving from Tallahassee to weekend getaway destination of St. Augustine Beach and did a quick stop in Live Oak, FL, for a bite. Took secondary highways and on more than once Sheena thought out loud, Wow, this looks a lot like Argentina. Some little towns not for the faint-hearted. Yes. People live in those houses. No. Houses isn't even the right word. Shacks. Trailers. Campers. Little villages that should just change their name to Tornado Magnet and be done with it. Did not take pictures of the worst of it. Too depressing.

From the outside, RL's Smokehouse looked a little sketchy and ramshackle, but the inside was cozy and clean and decorated in to reflect the down-home pig kitsch collector demogrphic. Passed on the lunch buffet that was favoured by most of the locals. Couldn't be sure how long the fried catfish had been there.

Ordered the BBQ beef sandwich off the menu. $5.95 and it was wonderful. Plain squishy white bread roll covered with big chunks of slow cooked beef in a tangy BBQ sauce. Didn't eat many of the crinkle-cut very clearly frozen fries. Though the waitress admitted she had never ever before had a customer who did NOT want ketchup with fries. Had "Unsweet Tea" and I ordered it all correctly and all thanks to commenters on my previous post on that very same topic.

When I Grow Up I Want To Be A Dyslexic Restaurant Critic

A wonderful meal at a real live grownup restaurant last night. Went to Fusion Cafe at the recommendation of a friend and thoroughly enjoyed it. Creative menu, nice atmosphere (except for the somewhat odd strip mall feel of the entrance). Crowd either State lobbyists or students out for a date.

Tried their brand spanking new spring/summer cocktail menu. The Lotus Martini. The waitress squealed with excitement when I ordered it because Sheena was the first one ever to ask for it.

Mains were all reasonably priced $17-20 which included choice of salads. Had the a lovely gorgonzola/applewood smoked bacon/bibb lettuce and my dining companion had the Caesar salad.

We both totally scored on the dinner choices. Melt-in-your mouth tenderloin filet with a chipotle BBQ sauce topped with shoestring potatos fried super crisp in fuck dat. He had the lambshank, perfectly falling-off-the-bone done.

Damage for 2 with a couple of cocktails each only about $60. Sheena gives it 4 out of 5 married cousins.

Jesus To Mankind: Shut Your Piehole

Seen yesterday about 20 minutes outside Tallahassee in Crawfordville, Florida at the New Light Church Inc.

Sweet Tea Or Not Sweet Tea

She has suddenly remembered one thing she absolutely LOVES about the Southern USA. That is choice. Choice between pre-sweetened ice tea and NON sweetened ice tea. Sheena has not drank ice tea in Canada for many many years because I can't stand that artificial sweet flavoured crap that we tolerate for some unknown reason. She in fact prides herself at being an exemplary cultural ambassador by gently grabbing the wrist of visiting Americans attempting to order iced-tea in Canada... looking intently at them and discreetly shaking her head, letting them know with her eyes that 'you don't really want to go there, honey'.

Down South, pretty much any dining establishment ranging from fast food to mid range chain predictable fare to higher ended no-squirrel zone gourmanderies you always get to pick. At any meeting, there are always two clearly and distinctly labelled jugs.

Sweet Tea or Not Sweet Tea.

I had forgotten just how wonderful unsweetened iced tea (with maybe a little squeeze of lemon) can be. I've had it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. No gassy farty inducing carbonation. No puky tooth-hurting sugar blast. Just cold pure slightly bitter tea over a bucket of ice.

I could drink this every day with every meal for the rest of my life.

I'm Pretty Sure he says "enema" at the 1 Minute Mark...

Come Mister Tally Man, Tally Me Banana...

Sheena especially loves the Florida State Capitol at this time of year when the trees in bloom give it that cute fluffy bunny pube look.