Thursday, March 22, 2007

If a Tree Falls in the Forest....


Sheena is always on her best behaviour when in public and strives to do the right thing and ensure all around her are comfortable. This week she smacked head first into one of these long standing niggling weird issues that sometimes keep her up at night.

Many modern ladies bathrooms these days are wheel chair accessible and nicer newer places are specifically designed to be as accomodating and easy to navigate as possible. This is a good thing. The problem is when you are in a crowded restroom where there is a bit of a lineup, and by luck of the draw, you get the wheel chair stall. Now SOME handicapped stalls have a sink and towel dispenser right there in the stall. Great! no lineup, easier to put down bags and get oneself pulled together before facing the rest of the day.

But then you use the in-stall sink. And as you walk out, you realize - NOBODY ACTUALLY SAW YOU WASH YOUR HANDS. So you walk out of the restroom confidently and relieved, and as soon as the door swings closed this creepy crawly paranoid wave sweeps over and you wonder what people still in the bathroom are saying. "Did you see that? She didn't wash her hands. OMG, that's awful. I can't believe in this day and age..... "and so on and so forth until you feel like running back into the can and telling everyone that I USED THE IN-STALL SINK AND YES I DID SO WASH MY HANDS.

I don't have an answer to this one. But I haven't slept in 4 days because of it. Any advice gratefully accepted.

26 Comments:

At 1:29 PM, Blogger David said...

I think, as a matter of policy, it's wise to wash one's hands as far from the toilet as possible for no other reason than share germophobic paranoia.

 
At 1:57 PM, Anonymous sooey said...

just say as you walk by the line, "it's okay. i used toilet paper."

 
At 2:00 PM, Anonymous sooey said...

oh, and then: "in case you're wondering, my wheelchair's parked in a handicapped spot out front."

 
At 2:07 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

Yabbut I'm not a germophobe, David. I only really care about what other people think about me.

 
At 2:09 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

Oh I'm such a dumbass sometimes. Instead of calling this post "If A Tree Falls in the Forest" I shoulda said "If a Log Drops into the Water".

 
At 3:44 PM, Anonymous Fenderbender said...

so long as it ain't an outhouse

 
At 4:18 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

You mean the Fountain of Youth?

 
At 4:33 PM, Anonymous Foog said...

You mean you're supposed to wash yer hands when you use the potty?

 
At 4:45 PM, Anonymous Fenderbender said...

yeah, but not in the F of Y

 
At 4:49 PM, Blogger whitenoise said...

Okay. I'm going to give you something more relevant to worry about...

My non-scientific study of men's washrooms has determined that as few as about 35% wash their hands. That's at the most public of places- shopping malls, movie theatres, sports facilities.

The percentage goes up as you move up the food chain to airports and nicer restaurants but still falls well short of 100%.

Try not to touch any door handles or stair rails today... ;-(

 
At 5:02 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

OK, and I guess I should quit picking my ass, too eh?

 
At 5:07 PM, Blogger Jason Bo Green said...

I feel like people will think I'm obsessive-compulsive, but I use paper towels to open bathroom doors.

I went to a night class once and upon my first evening, went into the washroom and saw someone walk out without washing their hands. Eww. Then, sure enough, he was in the class, and we had to pass around equipment and examine it. Double eww.

I've never seen one of these fancy in-sink stalls - I thought you were going to say that once you exited, a person in a wheelchair started yelling at you. That happened to me once and I told them to shut the heck up.

 
At 5:09 PM, Blogger Leatherhands said...

LOL! Sheena, you potty mouth! Re: men not washing their hands; I'm afraid it's true. Sometimes they'll come to the sink just to hork in it, then briskly walk back to their meal/wife/girlfriend/children. Wretch.

 
At 5:11 PM, Blogger Leatherhands said...

Jason, "Shut the heck up" really doesn't have much impact. Try "you're a stupid head that's stupid!"

 
At 5:20 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

I'm trying to remember the last time I actually read the word "hork", Leatherpants. It's one of my favourite words because of its onomatopoeic bluntess.

Though strangely, I usually say "hock a loogie" instead of "hork a loogie". Not sure if this is a prairie variation or something different entirely.

Thoughts, people?

 
At 5:32 PM, Blogger Leatherhands said...

I'm more impressed at your useage of "onomatopoeic"..but I digress.
"Hock" is more of a bad cold/smokers cough sound, whereas "hork" is more of a plugged-up sinus deal. Seriously, sound them out...

 
At 5:35 PM, Blogger Leatherhands said...

And by the way, those leather pants are from Melrose Ave. Distressed no less. The real deal. Not the shiny lame ones middle aged Jewish Milf women wear in the mall.

 
At 5:36 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

I'm sitting in a crowded airport bar, but OK, if you say so.

 
At 5:40 PM, Blogger Leatherhands said...

Exactly where I always picture you, Sheena. Have three for me.

 
At 5:44 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

Day 19 / 19. I'm ready for home, that's for sure.

 
At 6:39 PM, Blogger Joe Calgary said...

I hear ya Sheena. Feel like I haven't sat still in a month. Oh, wait a minute.

 
At 6:44 PM, Blogger Joe Calgary said...

Not even a hangover? Your either sick, or your just not tryin' sister.

Nice girl like you shouldn't need days to hurt yourself... I'da thought, 20 minutes and four Martini's and your in:)

 
At 6:50 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

Martinis at the Tallahasse Road Side Inn. Yep. Sure, Joe. Keep diggin'.

 
At 7:05 PM, Blogger Joe Calgary said...

What about Montreal during Formula? Chuckers in, and I'm in Montreal for 6 days over the race... Drinks?

 
At 9:18 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

Sheena doesn't do Formula, Sheena does redneck races like Champ Car and NASCAR. The Beer Garden Queens are plotting and scheming for the inaugural Nascar Frog Fest.

I'm in Winnipeg sometime in early June - when is the EuroWeenie race again?

 
At 12:34 AM, Anonymous Mo' Carter said...

What? How many taxdollars is that sinkhole in the St. Lawerence in June gonna soak the taxpayer for this year? Meanwhile, the proxy FIA ASN in this country keep that GP bastard afloat while all other road racing sports are seriously neglected, if not completely ignored by these Quebecois cabalistic bastards!

 

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