Friday, February 20, 2009

15 Hours of Prison Food in Econoclass Crush

Sheena's attempt to minimize an already massive Carbon Cuntprint led her to leave directly from Edmonton en route to Sydney Australia, instead of incurring an additional 3 hours flight time BACK to Toronto to enhance chances of an upgradeable Air Canada flight. United shits on Air Canada Elite members when it comes to upgrade priority, so I knew I was taking my back, my neck and my embryonic deep vein thrombosis into my own hands.

After a relaxing couple of hours connecting through the San Francisco Red Carpet Club - easily the nicest RCC I've seen ( and I'm not the only one...) - Sheena poured herself into Row 40-something, seat H on the 747 over to Sydney. Aisle seats are normally my 2nd choice. I can usually only sleep leaned up against the window.

The food quality in United economy class is profoundly shocking. I have a flight attendant friend who states unequivocally that airlines use the same tea as does the prison system, and I wonder if the same holds true for food. If it wasn't so squished in the seats, I would have taken pictures.

The dinner was an artifically hot salisbury steaklike item that would not have been out of place in a McDonald's drive through. It had a red sauce on top that I scraped off to see what I was eating. The side salad was 100% shredded lettuce.

Not my pic - but a very true likeness

Mid flight lunch was a roasted chicken / cheddar sandwich. Actually looked promising. Until bite #1 revealed that it was still partially frozen. I removed the wet cold bun-like substance from my mouth, wrapped it all back up and tried to go back to sleep and pretend it was all just a big bad dream.

Breakfast, at least, provided enough sustenance for me to pull myself out of the pretzelish contortion I had adopted in the 15 hours hence, and drag myself into the warm nourishing sunshine. Edible omelette, some sausages of questionable composition, but fully cooked, so I went for it. Could only bear 1 bite of the sickly sweet fake banana flavoured 'banana bread', but oh well. Maybe I'll do a low carb week...


At 10:12 AM, Blogger sooey said...

I insist you read "Up in the Air" by Walter Dorn.


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