Monday, December 31, 2007

Ladies! Remember to Wait Until Midnight!

Because that's when the GST on tampons falls to 5%. Because Stephen Harper cares about Aunt Flo.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Family Time with Sheena

Random family shit this week with the beloved siblings and mater...

Remember to always use cut up guts like liver for a kick ass turkey stuffing. And dried apricots..yum.

Roast pork on lead soaked gold trimmed dishes. Adds that subtle little Goldschlager riff to the marinade post-facto.

Niagara Falls in the winter. Not romantic. Just bone-numbing cold in a way that almost makes you wish you were at home with the rellies kind of way...

Best gift this year. A $1 Value Village purchase. New material for SheenaVisions well into 2012.

Signage says it all.

Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire home decor. 2008 theme to get me through the brain numbing boredom of living on the goddamn fucking farm.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Boxing Day Shopping At Its Best

Yet another thing nobody around here bothered to tell me about and had to figure out for myself. KW Surplus. Funny as hell and a great way to waste a couple of hours. Easily found by looking for the giant Russian tank out front and the Spitfire on top of the neighbouring aviation foamer store. Extra special Boxing Day purchases included cut rate Bathroom cleanser, usb extension plug ins, some gorgeous gold trimmed probably lead soaked dishes used as platter for a belated turkey dinner, Aussie style cowboy hats and camo pants. Scored on some neat fake leather storage bins. This is in fact where Winner's stuff goes to die. Regular $39, Winner's priced $16, KW Surplus $2.99. At that price get 2.

Items passed over but on the hmmm... maybe later list include beakers, forceps scissors, flak jackets, mouse traps, German army motorcycle helmets, welding supplies and paintball rifles.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Leftover LHR Pics - New St. Pancras Station Champagne Bar

Longest Champagne bar in Europe opened up in November at the refubished St. Pancras train station in London. Where the Eurostar Chunnel train has its new boarding platform. Neato because the Champagne bar runs lengthwise all up and down where the train stops. Chilly though, covered in the station but still open to the elements.

Leftover MUC Pics - Window Shopping in Marienplatz

Forgot to download some of my pictures from Munich and London last month during the days of laptop troubles. Back to Germany in early January, having now solved the mystery of Wormland.

Whoa. Where's Santa? Sheena lurves topaz...
Slutty is the new white.

Why is his hand in his pants... WORMLAND.

No I did not buy this dress for myself.

I want this for my door knocker. From St. Michael's Church.

Just going for one.

Creepy Nutcrackers.

Merry NSFW Christmas

From Christmas angel Sarah Silverman...

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Sheena's Earthquake Detecting Tree

So after days of angst and tantrum and denial, Sheena reached out with her parasitic good looks and scammed a ride out to the tree farm. If ONE MORE person told her that ooh ahh you really have to go to Benjamin's Tree Farm la-di-fucking-da to get a goddamn tree for Christmas she was just about ready to hurl.

$40 bucks for a decent one, $26 for a shitty one. More expensive but that was as far as I was going.

Two years running tree day was a torrential rain day. Used the same umbrella both times. Go figger.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Where are all the fucking trees in this town?

Spent a frustrating evening driving around the various and sundry Waterloo shopping mall parking lots trying to find a real Christmas year.

Last year Sheena's Parkdale Christmas Tree was a breeze. Run down to the scuzzy section of town in the pouring rain and grab a straggler needles and all. Run home and decorate with mardi gras beads and dental floss.

Not so easy this year. Any local readers please help Sheena out today. Going to venture over to the Kitchener side this afternoon.

Don't make me regret moving to Nofunvilleland. And don't tell me I have to go to the goddamn farm and cut my own. If that's the case I'll just wait until it's dark and take care of things the Sheena way.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Blinded By The White

Screwed out of a Christmas get together in Toronto last night with some fellow bloggers and all purpose snipers due to blizzard conditions and Sheena feels trapped and cranky.

Did a roast pork loin marinated in the marvelous all-purpose Rosemary Wine Syrup from Malivoire estates in Niagara along with a casserole dish full of roasted potatos, peppers, onions, carrots, garlic. Opened a light and fruity Henry of Phlegm Gamay Noir 2006

Stared out the window. Snow still blowing and falling as at this writing. A little bored. Have work I could start doing but not in the mood. Dragging out more old CDs. Forgotten treasure of the day Sam Robert's We Were Born To A Flame. Remembered the summer I tried to convince my secret American assignation accomplice that it was the greatest thing ever.

Dreading the trek into the office tomorrow. Glad I bought a shovel.

Look down the street and feel a little wistful. No one is going to come check on me out here. Eyes well up a bit remembering the greatest blizzard story ever. Winnipeg, November 1986, when the city was in full paralysis

Sheena was a starving student madly in love with what she then thought was The One. He was working downtown on a Friday night when the skies opened up and he took shelter in a borrowed dorm room. One for the record books. Her crazy baba got stuck at the CN yards and legend has it made it part way home on someone's skidoo. Gido did a quadruple shift, as did auntie Nurse. They were snowed in at work and no replacements were possible.

Sheena didn't have much in her apartment and figured she'd ride it out by borrowing essentials from downstairs. Looking out the window, the car in the drive way was completely obliterated. One big snowbank had engulfed it. Radio and TV blaring on about shutdowns, cancellations, no buses, no taxis, nothing but emergency services for the next 48 hours.

And then a knock at the door. Before her stood a tall imposing figure matted with snow and ice, facial features almost unrecognizable. In his hand was a bag. With a bottle of orange juice and a box of Old Dutch Ripple chips. "I stopped at the Shell store in case you ran out".

He walked home. From the University of Winnipeg, across the river to where Sheena lived. Down the middle of the empty unplowed streets. About a 5 mile walk according to Mapquest. He had mild frostbite on his ears and didn't stop shaking for hours. Soaked to the bone and boots full of snow. But it was worth it. He was coming home to me.

Sheena still has the blue and white sweater he wore home that day. His abominable snowman sweater as it henceforth became known. Maybe I'll go put it on. Take the chill off.

As A Public Service to Her Vast and Influential American Readership

Sheena finally finds the Youtube clip she's been thinking about for the last couple of weeks thanks to fellow Canadian Iconoclast Rusty Idols.

More here....


Saturday, December 15, 2007

No, Sticking Your Hand in a Mail Box Does Not Make You Gay

A stunning revelation last night as Sheena mutated from cozy back seat limo sleepy mode into seething rage within 10 minutes of walking into the house.

A story of mixup, confusion, borrowed cars, invalid insurance and questionable plates. Perhaps a simple misunderstanding, a random bureaucratic error instigated by a slack ass functionnaire somewhere in the bowels of a regional sorting centre. Perhaps something more deceitful and cowering. Figure that part out later this week.

But it triggered an interesting conversation with The Urban Artist in Residence about Sheena's relationship patterns.

I came to the stunning conclusion that every major breakup has been triggered by the man's failure to open his mail. Yep. Every camel-toe-breaking-straw has been an unopened letter. From the bank, the City, the Dept of Motor Vehicles, the Lawyer.

I think back to the stacks and stacks of unopened mail, on different dressers, in different rooms, in different provinces. But it all ends the same.

A man who does not open his mail is afraid of something. Is hiding from something. Is in denial and is pretending something will just go away if ignored long enough. Is blocked from action. So usually Sheena has to act. And by act I mean walk.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

More To Die For Tunes

Yes. Cheek is fully entitled to a hearty "I Told You So, FCS", but bought the Cake Fashion Nugget CD today and OMG if their remake of "I Will Survive" is not the finest piece of angst ridden horn blowing, Sheena will forgo any future bite of quince jelly for the remainder of her days here in purgatory (aka K-Dub).

Cake Music here

More good shit rebought and rediscovered:

Psychedelic Furs
The Mavericks
The Shins from the Garden State CD (yes another Cheek AND Sooey ITYS)
Level 42
Gogol Bordello Super Taranta! Extra bonus "le sigh" for those who remembers this SheenaVision angsty post.
Siouxsie and the Banshees Greatest Hits Thanks Beast...
White Stripes. Yee Haw Cape Breton Cuzzin Jack!!!

Oh and way more... Rick Astley, Nina Simone, The Watchmen, Fine Young Cannibals, Tory Amos, KT Tunstall... too many CDs to unwrap and too little time.

Holy Shit. I really suck at Christmas shopping for other people, eh?

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Lotus Magnet CD Launch Party

Through the miracle of the innerdnets, Sheena was invited to the world premiere VIP unveiling party launch debut of Lotus Magnet's first CD.

Started the evening with a lovely visit to my old 'hood and had the Near North Salad @ the Gladstone which is the best salad I've ever had (yes even more than the Beaver one that Raymi likes). Note that they are now using trout instead of salmon. Caught up on online and offline gossip and intrigue with an annoyingly cute and perfect Toronto galpal and then headed over to the secret location.

Oh what fun. The band and the significant others I got to meet were impeccable hosts.

When the took the stage Sheena grabbed to get her camera out of her purse. Fucking bloody hell. Her SIM card was in a friend's laptop for downloading because her replacement laptop just showed up on Thursday and she hadn't installed her picture software yet. Grr..

Take my word for it. Kick ass catchy rock from a bunch of guys who look like they're having a blast.

Gonna go unwrap my CD now and get into the mood for a book launch later today.

Go see these guys and buy their music. Sheena said so.