Saturday, December 22, 2007

Where are all the fucking trees in this town?

Spent a frustrating evening driving around the various and sundry Waterloo shopping mall parking lots trying to find a real Christmas year.

Last year Sheena's Parkdale Christmas Tree was a breeze. Run down to the scuzzy section of town in the pouring rain and grab a straggler needles and all. Run home and decorate with mardi gras beads and dental floss.

Not so easy this year. Any local readers please help Sheena out today. Going to venture over to the Kitchener side this afternoon.

Don't make me regret moving to Nofunvilleland. And don't tell me I have to go to the goddamn farm and cut my own. If that's the case I'll just wait until it's dark and take care of things the Sheena way.

23 Comments:

At 11:19 AM, Anonymous sooey said...

Flash passersby for peanuts?

 
At 12:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Make a beer can/bottle tree Sheena. Add a few wine bottles for colour. Top off the tree with a toque.

I really don't think they'll let me bring a real tree from Winnipeg...but I'd be willing to try!

Good luck with your shopping!

 
At 12:47 PM, Blogger Whitenoise said...

I know you said that you didn't want to do this, but it's really kinda fun: Drysdale's. They have sleigh rides, food and a gift shop. Hey, you can re-enact that scene from Christmas Vacation...

 
At 5:09 PM, Blogger Joanne (True Blue) said...

Yeah, what's wrong with a little drive out to the country, Sheena? Where's your sense of adventure?

Or try a nursery like Grobe's, or York or something. Just check out the yellow pages & start calling around. White Rose might be another possibility.

Merry Christmas, Sheena!

 
At 5:24 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

arrggggggggggghhhhhhhh
I want my sketchy parking lot tree like every other year of my life. Not some wholesome grain fed organic piece of judgemental shit!

 
At 5:46 PM, Blogger raymi lauren said...

drive to mississauga or something? why the hell did you move to lametown usa anyway?

 
At 5:58 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

I didn't move to lametown USA. I moved to Kitchener. I know. Kill me now.

 
At 6:00 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

And I do not own a car, Raymi. I occasionally parasite one from men who fancy me but it is not a reliable means of transporting goods across postal codes. I am used to being able to drag one home by the hair like a caveman chooses his woman.

 
At 8:21 PM, Blogger Whitenoise said...

You obviously feel strongly about this. ;-)

Plastic tree here, went up about a week after Halloween. (Not my doing.) Although I like the smell of a real tree, I'm kinda weird about destroying something just so I can have a frivolous, temporary decoration in my living room.

But, hey, nothing judgemental, whatever gets you through the night...

 
At 8:23 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

Frivolous destruction not a biggie in Sheenaville, Whitenoise...

 
At 8:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Sheena - No YMCA Y's guys just for the good old days? What kind of lamebrain place do you live in anyways?

Nan

 
At 8:48 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

None I can find... Desperate measures tomorrow might find me leave the city limits.


Shiver.....

 
At 9:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ow - I hate to say the word - artificial at Canadian Tire!!!!! Any forest reserves close by or neighbors with saplings? I know a farm in Manitoba that has an abundance of trees growing every where except where they should be!!! Next year I'll ship you one!

 
At 9:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are so many gardening nurseries around Kitchener - check those out.

 
At 9:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes Rona or Home Depot or Superstore have "real" trees.

 
At 10:01 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

If there is a God he will let Santa bring Sheena a more understanding brand of commenter and not ask her to compromise herself like this.

 
At 6:04 AM, Blogger Sonny Drysdale said...

Last I heard, the city parks are full of spruce-type trees. And I've never seen any signs posted about whether or not you - as a taxpayer - can't help yourself to one.

Also there are lots of good- looking vintage artificial trees on Ebay for that cool 'retro' look that's so popular with the young people these days.

Some of them even painted pink.

 
At 12:59 PM, Anonymous M/T said...

Sheena , WTF ;

Put the boy toys to work ...

First one back with a real tree ,

gets a special surprise ...

No questions asked .


Midnight Tory

 
At 2:40 PM, Blogger rgraham666 said...

Go out tonight and cut a tree off of someone's lawn. Someone who's away for the holidays.

Why break decades of tradition, Sheena?

*evil laugh*

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger Whitenoise said...

A christmas-sized evergreen, delivered and dropped in the hole is between $350- $600. Get caught, and it's gonna be an expensive night...

 
At 3:40 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

Geez, Whitenoise. Are those farmers retarded or what then? I paid $40 for mine.

Deets to follow....

 
At 6:46 PM, Blogger Whitenoise said...

I was responding to Mr. Grahams's suggestion that you cut down one of your neighbour's trees, which would likely be slightly more expensive than a tree produced specifically for the christmas season.

I know that Madame Sheena would never stoop do such underhanded tactics...
;-)

 
At 8:01 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

I can afford minions now, WN. That's what makes life worth living.

 

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