Sheena's Fashion Tips #2 - Stick 'Em Up

In the spirit of unleashing her inner Raymi, Sheena today wishes to share a story about her breasts. Scoring perilously low on the pencil test, but still passing the golf club test with flying colours, Sheena realized that her new little black dress needed, well, something lest her lungs end up in the soup course. As Sheena remarked to the girlfriends that year when when we all dressed up in our mermaid costumes, "Well... some of us have Sea-shells, some of us have B-shells..."

The answer to the fashion dilemma was found at Shopper's Drug Mart. For $9.99 plus the inevitable gender targeted GST, one gets 3 pairs of what I affectionately call "Stick 'em Boobs". That French name is pretty gross-sounding, if you ask me.

Thank God Sheena remembered to pack a pair of scissors in the overnight bag. The trick to these little guys is try to trim them BEFORE taking the adhesive protection strip off. Hmm. In that picture they almost look like cookie dough. Or uninked Rorschach tests. Trim and fit. Keeping cognizant of how the fabric will move throughout the evening. Ideally have to try to get the right cup shape to stick on the first try. Unsticking and resticking runs the risk of having the adhesive get wimpy later in the evening.

At the event Sheena sat, chatting with a male acquaintance while El Chaperone went for a beer run. Male Acquaintance leans over and asks, "Do you have duct tape on your dress". "No," Sheena replied, they're my Stick 'Em Boobs. So I explained the whole process, but it turns out he'd seen them in use before. I felt a little self concious, so I looked down, and I couldn't see anything sticking out, and felt compelled to tell him that. "Lean over". So I did. "No, lean over more.. more.. .more..." OK. then I could see it sticking out a little bit. "Hey, you pervert, why are you looking down there anyways, and how the hell can you see that in the dark?".

"I'm a man. It's what I do."

And then I went up to the DJ and requested Madonna.