Sunday, December 10, 2006

Sheena's Fashion Tips #2 - Stick 'Em Up


In the spirit of unleashing her inner Raymi, Sheena today wishes to share a story about her breasts. Scoring perilously low on the pencil test, but still passing the golf club test with flying colours, Sheena realized that her new little black dress needed, well, something lest her lungs end up in the soup course. As Sheena remarked to the girlfriends that year when when we all dressed up in our mermaid costumes, "Well... some of us have Sea-shells, some of us have B-shells..."

The answer to the fashion dilemma was found at Shopper's Drug Mart. For $9.99 plus the inevitable gender targeted GST, one gets 3 pairs of what I affectionately call "Stick 'em Boobs". That French name is pretty gross-sounding, if you ask me.

Thank God Sheena remembered to pack a pair of scissors in the overnight bag. The trick to these little guys is try to trim them BEFORE taking the adhesive protection strip off. Hmm. In that picture they almost look like cookie dough. Or uninked Rorschach tests. Trim and fit. Keeping cognizant of how the fabric will move throughout the evening. Ideally have to try to get the right cup shape to stick on the first try. Unsticking and resticking runs the risk of having the adhesive get wimpy later in the evening.

At the event Sheena sat, chatting with a male acquaintance while El Chaperone went for a beer run. Male Acquaintance leans over and asks, "Do you have duct tape on your dress". "No," Sheena replied, they're my Stick 'Em Boobs. So I explained the whole process, but it turns out he'd seen them in use before. I felt a little self concious, so I looked down, and I couldn't see anything sticking out, and felt compelled to tell him that. "Lean over". So I did. "No, lean over more.. more.. .more..." OK. then I could see it sticking out a little bit. "Hey, you pervert, why are you looking down there anyways, and how the hell can you see that in the dark?".

"I'm a man. It's what I do."

And then I went up to the DJ and requested Madonna.

16 Comments:

At 5:42 PM, Anonymous spy said...

I tried those once a million years ago. I can't even remember for what. But they didn't seem to hold up for very long. I also hate those strapless bras because they never seem to fit right and always feel like they're slipping.

 
At 6:52 PM, Anonymous sooey said...

oh. and here i've been wearing this apparatus that comes with a couple of cups to wear over your breasts (mine, not yours). it has a band that goes around the back with a hook and eye mechanism to join the bands. there are also two adjustable straps. one for each shoulder.

 
At 7:03 PM, Blogger Crazylegs said...

A backpack?

 
At 10:33 PM, Anonymous seawench said...

Although I've collected sea-shells by the seashore - and can say it fast, three times: She sells seashells down by the seashore! - my reality is b-shells. Couldn't hold a pencil never mind a golf club...

 
At 11:23 AM, Anonymous scout said...

tried 'em once, years ago when i would still don an over the shoulder boulder holder (or in my case, rocks) on those rare dress up occasions. HORRIBLE!!! one slid up after an hour and reatttached itsself to my nipple....we are talking pain here.

now i 'confine' myself to a bra about once a year, if that. terrible, horrible things that city women wear.

 
At 12:22 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

Removal wasn't too bad. It looks worse than it is. But I suppose a woman with hairy nipples might think otherwise.

 
At 1:55 PM, Anonymous jacobin said...

"woman with hairy nipples"

that's just gross, is shaving at least that part of the body too much to ask?

besides raymi doesn't have hairy nipples.

 
At 2:34 PM, Blogger pam said...

I remember the first time I wore those damn things to a Christmas party. I was loaded when I was undressing, and had my horrified husband rip them off *quickly pleeaassseee*...OUCH (and I do not have hairy nipples).

 
At 4:18 PM, Blogger Leatherhands said...

Pammie,
"loaded"..."undressing".."horrifiedhusband"....I don't get the last part.

 
At 4:20 PM, Blogger Leatherhands said...

Sorry. Three of my fave virtual women talking about bras....how the hell could I stay away.

 
At 5:27 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

You mean, three of your favourite virtual women talking about NOT wearing bras....

 
At 7:26 PM, Blogger pam said...

leather,
He was horrified that I would put adhesive tape over my nipples and ask him to tear off a layer of nipple skin when I could just walk around braless.
Gaffer tape works just as well, if not better. You can tape them "up" without taping over your nipples.

 
At 7:52 PM, Anonymous jacobin said...

"You can tape them "up" without taping over your nipples."

--isn't that what there all about, points all her own sitting way up high
Way up "firm" and "high"

 
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