Sunday, December 03, 2006

Wow. Like, I Totally Feel, So Eurasian Right Now...

i also swept the fucking floor for best personal blog holy shit 6 years everyone is a mongoloid triple stamped and double stamped it for even thinking they had a chance to take that title from me, no offense you are all boring and yes this is the drink talking this is why i don't blog past 8pm.


Sheena presents to her Gentle Readers, The Best Blog, Best Personal Blog In All of Canada, Raymi The Minx

All pay homage to this clever lovely lady. For one day she'll learn the downside of the Tits for Hits Strategy. It's called gravity, my dear. It's the law.

But congrats to Scout at who dominated in the Best Post Series category. Funny clever lady with an eye for satire. Check her out if you haven't already.

79 Comments:

At 10:06 AM, Blogger Leatherhands said...

As a veteran of multiple Juno "nominations", I can assure you.... losing sucks.
Oh yeah, time doesn't really mellow the pain either.
Best to just stay in your house, and become a cog in a wheel somewhere. (BTW, congrats Scout!)

 
At 12:16 PM, Anonymous scout said...

honey, just don't let the mascara run onto your gown.....those value village pieces ain't cheap!

but, seriously folks.... thanks......and you had a good run at things and will remain, of course, our 'fave personal' . and that counts for a lot :) .

leatherhands....thanks. and WHAT is with the name? it''s , it's creepy or something! there must be a purpose....some batman villain or something.

 
At 3:46 PM, Anonymous jacobin said...

sheena, we luv your blog, and don't let that Raymi The Bitch get you down ;)

 
At 4:07 PM, Blogger K-Dough said...

Hey sweet tits - oops sorry- thought I was somewhere else.

Anyway, guess who is throwing kudos your way? None other than the Zerb herself.

http://thestar.blogs.com/azerb/

 
At 4:30 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

Oh great now I owe her another round... But thanks for the heads up kdough! Hadn't see that yet

 
At 5:43 PM, Anonymous sooey said...

that's okay. don't thank me, sheena. i'll just take all the credit for your success quietly. oh wait... you lost. hm. well, then. sorry, eh. chins up. better luck next time. yaddayadda. blahblah. and so on and so forth and more of the same etc etc.

now - a haiku:

cold winter descends
awards blossom, wither, die
sheena blogs anon

 
At 7:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey - look at the bright side! In the future we can all torment her about her past when she tries to become famous or something.

 
At 9:08 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

Sooey blogs unfunny
Retarded; Repetitous
Fat NeoCons Fume.

 
At 10:22 PM, Anonymous sooey said...

grr. you just wait until i get a digital camera and quit my job and take up blogging full-time. i'll be all over the innernets like a cheat soup!

oh yah - bwahahahahahahahaha!

 
At 1:31 PM, Anonymous sooey said...

there's no whore like a blogging whore:

http://www.sooeys.com/blogs/sooeysays/

 
At 3:36 PM, Blogger raymi lauren said...

oh you're so bitter. torment me about my past when i become famous or something um, hahaAHAhaahhaa.

 
At 3:39 PM, Blogger raymi lauren said...

also, my tits won't sag, they're tiny. see you at sweaty betty's, you'll be the ugly bitter one that everyone is ignoring, right?

 
At 3:41 PM, Blogger Sabrina_C said...

Seriously, who cares if she smeared her vagina all over her Atari joystick and then put the video on the internet. It's not like she's never done anything like that before. Naked is her art. I mean, prove that you look better naked and win next time. Also, this is a paid message provided by women with giant tits supporting the smaller tittied friend. Also, I am the NRA.

 
At 3:44 PM, Anonymous neil fiddleton said...

RE: sheena's blog -- how does she expect to win if she doesn't even write it herself! having a fan follow her around to pen "sheena did this, and sheena thinks that" is a totally cheating.

 
At 4:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

wait why do you hate raymi? because she has cute tits? hey is this your arm? because that would explain why you are so bitter.

 
At 4:06 PM, Blogger Wendy said...

chicks with ugly boobs attack those with beautiful perfect boobs.

Seriously, you are attacking someone you don't know. If you actually read her you would understand satire and jokes and tongue in cheek.

Sour grapes; sagging tits.

 
At 4:08 PM, Anonymous sooey said...

aw. don't hate sheena because she's jigglyful. hate sooey. cuz i'm gonna kick ALL your big fat asses next year (i have a fabulous ass - so don't even go there. and tits that can put a man's eye out at .00002 paces) first, i'm gonna get a digital camera, THEN i'm gonna figure out how to use it!

sheena? how do i post my blog link? if you were really my friend and not just an ungrateful jiggly arsehole - you'd do it for me!

p.s. see you later for dinner...

 
At 4:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, I don't get why you're hating on Raymi. I started to read your blog to see what your deal is but it is so fucking boring. At least Raymi is interesting.

 
At 4:26 PM, Anonymous sooey said...

and try to keep your jiggly arm out of my food, please.

 
At 5:25 PM, Anonymous Fenderbender said...

I love small tits, just small talents

 
At 5:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OOOPS, "just NOT small talents"

 
At 5:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

sheena if you move your chin(s) out of the way, you too can see/take pictures of your tits. cruel but necessary, as you were very patronizing with your "clever lovely lady" bullshit. As "someone" who finds "THAT" blog (you know, the WINNING one) very entertaining, you could learn something from her. I'm doing this anonymously because I don't want your mayonnaise fingerprint smears on my blog.

 
At 6:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know sheena has a glorious rack, nothing like her sister of course but still magnificent!
C'mon prove me right, sheena!

 
At 6:43 PM, Blogger Hailey said...

I came across Raymi's blog 3 years ago, and have been reading it since. Like it or not, there;s a reason people keep coming back. I have heard of only her's and one other person who was nominated. Your's just wasn't on my radar. But reading it today, gives me no reason to want to come back.Sorry sister.

 
At 6:46 PM, Anonymous sooey said...

hehehe - i'm starting to think you raymi fans are all raymi. or raymi's kids. hey! instead of jerry's kids - you can be raymi's kids!

 
At 7:09 PM, Blogger pam said...

Aww..I voted for you at home AND work. I thought you deserved to win! I loved your Community post.
As for the "tits" comments, I would far prefer big, perfect tits that *might someday* sag to "tiny tits".
It always comes down to hits for tits, doesn't it?? Sadly really. Or sad for the tiny-titted crowd.

 
At 7:50 PM, Anonymous Paula said...

Raymi won because she is talented and entertaining.

 
At 8:06 PM, Anonymous fat free milk said...

I love Raymi. And her small tits.

 
At 8:09 PM, Anonymous Pauly said...

Raymi kicked your ass by a long shot. Get over it, it will happen again next year.

 
At 8:12 PM, Anonymous Keltie said...

Rather than hurling insults throughout cyberspace, lets look at the facts, shall we?

Fact # 1: Raymi is a published author. I think this alone proves my point. It does INDEED take a clever girl to develop and distribute a published work. Excuse me miss attitude problem, where is your publisher located? Your basement? I thought so.

Fact # 2: It takes a peculiar mixture of caustic wit and charisma to maintain a high traffic blog, as Raymi has done for the last 6 years. You have been around since March 2006. You are a little fish (metaphorically speaking) in a big pond.

Fact #3: To be fair, I tried to read your blog so as to draw a true comparison. But the bland template, so-so writing and complete lack of substance made me want to poke my eyes out with a spoon.

Raymi humiliated you in a contest you obviously had no fighting chance in. And what part of ‘competition’ do you not understand? If you enter a competition, you stand the chance of losing. Which really doesn’t matter unless throw a hissy fit and bad mouth the winner. It is a clear ode to your character. And you, sore loser, have to suck it up and get over yourself long enough to realize that your blog is cookie-cutter and you lost to someone with a shred of originality.

 
At 8:31 PM, Anonymous Lily said...

WOW. you were TOLD.
raymi's smart which leads to very funny and entertaining and she's interesting and beautiful for much more than her nice boobs and anyway i love her the end.

 
At 8:32 PM, Blogger Binsk said...

I voted for Raymi because she is FUNNY and REAL. I don't give a shit about her tits.

 
At 9:16 PM, Anonymous paula said...

I also meant to say that you are a sore loser.

If someone beats the pants off of you, the gracious thing to do is congratulate them. If you don't feel up to that task, then you shouldn't say anything at all.

Out of fairness, I tried to read your blog. It's boring and poorly designed.

Mean is okay if you're funny. You're just plain mean.

Enjoy the traffic to your blog from Raymi's site. When your link falls off of her page, it'll just be you and your sad self again.

Buh Bye!

 
At 9:21 PM, Anonymous fenderbender said...

keltie can borrow any of my spoons, i'll be happy to dress the wounds.... she's fucking boring and so self absorbed, a child among adults, no sense of irony, kiddy stuff

 
At 10:16 PM, Anonymous sooey said...

sheena's gonna post a piccie of the dessert i ate tonight. it was bigger'n all a yer heads, ya bunch o' fookin' raymi's kids!

 
At 10:21 PM, Anonymous Lisa said...

Raymi is loved as far across the ocean as New Zealand. Don't hate on her cuz she's loved. Embrace the joy that Raymi the Minx spreads like gooey golden syrup over hot buttered crumpets!

 
At 10:58 PM, Anonymous sooey said...

raymi's really a big ol' man, isn't she. s'okay, though. raymi's kids win. i'll post a link at sooey's to bubba raymi's blog tomorrow.

 
At 11:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I sometimes wish commentors wouldn't help imbeciles like you by pointing out personality defects. If no-one had pointed out the fact that you're a petulant sore loser, it's possible you'd be outing yourself as such for the rest of your unhappy life. But with all the comments, you'll probably modify your behavior and it will be harder for future readers to detect what a really shitty person you are.

 
At 12:41 AM, Blogger BFD said...

This blog sucks. That's why it didn't win best blog.

 
At 2:01 AM, Anonymous Sarah said...

Raymi won not because of her tits but because of her witty and clever personality and give-it-to-you straight attitude.
People enjoy hearing something like it is, and Raymi does just that. She is raw and in your face and not timid or depressing. Even if some of her blogs contain complaining, it isn't the annoying, self-depreciating type of complaining; she still keeps it humourous.
She won based on personality, one that is REAL and relateable yet still entertaining.
No one gives a shit about day-to-day jabber unless it is funny.

Also, she may post her tits, but those votes were not all male.

 
At 4:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! What is this all about? From what I've read, Sheena linked to raymi. Why would she do that? Sheena doesn't do jealous. She posted good wishes to all during the competition, including raymi.

 
At 6:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what the fuck kind of name is SheenaVision anyway? the market for content about the Liberal Leadership Convention and radioactive aeroplanes is fucking oversaturated
your blog is like a cross between a church bake sale and the CBC's Don Ferguson
and the third-person thing can be funny, but when you do it i want to stick a pencil in my eyeball...
just saying.

 
At 6:58 AM, Blogger Sheena said...

So how does Raymi feel about paying GST on Tampax?

 
At 8:09 AM, Anonymous jacobin said...

the freaks came out in drove eh!

this one's my favorite

"I voted for Raymi because she is FUNNY and REAL. I don't give a shit about her tits."

like whoa, like uno, like don't fuck with raymi's friends, ok, like whatever.

 
At 8:32 AM, Blogger Sheena said...

I'm just really thrilled that the last anonymous spelled SheenaVision correctly. That's important, you know.

 
At 9:16 AM, Blogger raymi lauren said...

i wasn't expecting a huge war explosion like this, anyway, gst on tampax is bollocks.

 
At 11:13 AM, Blogger Sheena said...

I so totally agree Raymi!
Maybe we can work together on this to raise awareness on the profound gender based tax discrimination directed at women because of this.

We can be the peacemakers and work together for a fairer, cheaper, more sanitary world.

 
At 11:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

grr. this blog war sucks!

 
At 1:24 PM, Anonymous hedy de vine said...

sheena and friends, you should really give raymi a chance. reading her blog can be such a spiritual experience ... i get this incredibly deep, almost overwhelming feeling of pleasure and warmth when i read it. it's like god is talking to me.

 
At 1:47 PM, Anonymous sooey said...

are you sure you didn't just make a poopoo?

 
At 1:48 PM, Anonymous sooey said...

in your pantz?

 
At 1:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hedy + TS8?

 
At 1:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

=

 
At 6:29 PM, Blogger Antonia Z said...

Who said irony isn't dead?

Its guts are splattered all over these comments.

Raymi, darling, your sheeps are adorablly loyal but I am beginning to wonder whether they even get you and aren't just there for the tits after all.

 
At 10:55 PM, Anonymous Adrian MacNair said...

I don't hate Raymi. I don't love her either. I'm more or less ambivalent. I am just kind of interested that someone who is "the best Canadian blogger" is one who is barely able to string two sentences together in a literate form worthy of the English language. She calls it streaming consciousness. I call it mental diarrhea. Taste is a preference. I haven't bookmarked her.

Given that blogging is about writing, it's curious that our best "writer" utilizes the style of immense font size, a hatred of capitalization, and so many images on her front page that you need a broadband connection and a lot of free time and RAM to load them all.

Tits for hits is apt, but not the whole story. She is genuinely unique, interesting, and funny. She's even darkly attractive in the narcissistic way she photographs herself from ever more erect-nipple flattering poses. Sometimes she is so crude that she is almost endearing in her Bukowski-esque vileness that is both alluring and repelling. Alluring in the way that one might stop to check out a provocative poster. Repelling in the way one might turn off a pair of speakers uttering Death Metal.

She is who she is. I'm not going to hate on her. Do your thing, girl. I aint mad at cha.

 
At 3:57 AM, Anonymous scout said...

adrian....a blog is not necessarily about writing. the term blog comes from 'weblog' and it's bare bones beginnings were people stringing together what they thought were interesting links.

blogs now cover the field from personal , to political, to the traditional 'linkers', to photos of all kinds and everything in between.....there are no hard set definitions or rules of what a blog SHOULD be....that's an individual's choice.

i had a dream, and in that dream, sheena and rami came together to eliminate the gst on tampons. a more sanitary world was created and the two of them enjoyed horseback riding and swimming druing their moontime.

 
At 8:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey, c'mon. if raymi doesn't want people to think she's an asshole, then she shouldn't be blogging.

and she won best blog, so fuck her - freakin' dumbassed sore winner twatface.

signed,

not even nominated

 
At 11:01 AM, Anonymous fenderbender said...

I am SO way more or less ambivalent,

f. De Bender

 
At 11:17 AM, Blogger The Pit Canary said...

I ended up here on a thread following law firms recommended for Yet Another Worthless Blogging Award.

And that's 20 mins of my life I can't have back! What always amazes me about comment streaks is that they're almost substandard abstractions of the already dubious interest the blogs themselves contain.

Get. Realworld. Physical. Friends.

And if any of these people *are* your Realworld Friends, why not just call them up? Huh? Because this is more cool? Really? Oh. Ok. My bad. Only, er, it isn't.

Get a life. If you can't, buy one. If you can't do that, steal one. If you can't do that, make one up and post it on the web.

 
At 11:51 AM, Anonymous sooey said...

haha! you're posting on a blog telling blog posters to get a life!

 
At 3:21 PM, Anonymous Marshall McClueless said...

Yes, the GST on Pussy Plugs is Bloody Outrageous.

 
At 6:05 PM, Blogger vinb said...

All this talk about minx tits, where are they exactly?

 
At 7:24 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

I put a link on my main blog page, vinb. Click on the link called the Bestest Blog in Canada 2006 and scroll back a couple of weeks.

 
At 8:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like tits!

 
At 8:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Two are best of all!

 
At 8:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So when will we see them?

 
At 9:35 PM, Blogger vinb said...

Thanks, Sheena, but the minx is too: PROLIFIC. I couldn't scroll back two: DAYS. But I found the tits another way. Any other pervs and all you kids out there who dream of becoming this coutry's best personal blogger: type the blog name into Google Image Search.

 
At 9:58 PM, Anonymous sooey said...

i added raymitheminx to my links. i put her above sheena. not because she won. just to bring sheena down a peg or two. so that she can try and "win a peg" or two back. geddit? eh? well? do ya? hunh?

 
At 10:26 PM, Anonymous scout said...

we haven't moved past this yet? sheena....i thought you were flying to lower slobovia and giving us a restaurant revue .....come on gal, i want my travel expert back!!!!

hawaii on tuesday.....i'll give you a spam revue. better yet, use some of those airmiles to fly out and i'll treat ya to some loco moco....no? ok, i'll round up my hawaiian friends and let ya dine on fresh caught fish ......or to a charter school lua where you're part of the family of eleven children and the ava flows, the music is incredible (the food, well....), and the company tres excellente.

 
At 11:13 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

Oh, fuck, scout... you have no idea how much I could use a little Don Ho Ho Ho this holiday season.

My favourite juice/highball glass is from the Don Ho bar over on one of the industrial piers on Honolulu where I saved $1200 by getting too wasted to go back to the Black Pearl shop like I said in my head I was going to...

Sooey is a shithead. So whatever. I hope one of the artists from Raymis can write a "Sooey is a Shithead" song or poem. It's the least those bandwidth stealers can do for me.

 
At 4:41 PM, Blogger foXXy said...

is blogging really about writing?

cuz i've been under the impression they are two entirely different things, unless of course you want your blog to be about writing.

also, tits, where?

 
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At 10:53 PM, Blogger Krista said...

hey um the post above this one has one comment. i wonder why this is.

 
At 11:06 PM, Anonymous Adrian MacNair said...

Scout, I approve strongly of your lesbian fantasy between Raymi and Sheena. I'm sure many other readers of Raymi do as well.

Pit Canary said Get. Realworld. Physical. Friends.

Ah irony is another wonder of the blogosphere.

is blogging really about writing?

Capitalize goddamit! Argh! All that free education and this is what we get!

Don't mind me. I read the definition of pedantic in the dictionary once and it struck an irreversible chord with me that has rendered me a pathetic grammar queen.

 
At 2:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a eurasian, I have to ask what you mean by saying you "feel eurasian". What exactly is that supposed to mean?

 
At 12:06 AM, Anonymous sooey said...

not very bright, i guess.

 
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