Sheena By Numbers

"Sheena", an acquaintance asked, "why do you drive a shit-box car?".

Here's the math:

Since January 1 2006, I have spent approximately 47 hours on 7 different aircraft models, 15 flights in total on 3 different carriers. Since January 1 2006, I have spent approximately 9 hours in my car, calculated under the assumption that I would spend an average of 30 minutes per day in my car during those periods when I reside in the same postal code as the abovementioned shitbox.

My vehicle's rusty edges, lack of power steering, broken passenger-side door handle stress me FAR less than the recent developments on certain short haul flights. As astounded as I was this January on United Express, receiving zero alcohol service on some 3+ hour flights, I have been sent reeling in recent weeks coming to the grips with the fact that Air Canada Rapidair between Toronto and Ottawa has now abandoned bar cart service.


Yes. Abandoned.

AC #464, 7:10pm from TO to the National Capital Region is full of politicos, power brokers, tech barons and functionnaires, many of whom, I have often speculated, are probably not allowed to drink at home. In recent days I've seen a few temper tantrums not to mention the many rolled eyes and audible teeth-sucking.

I confess I don't get this. I know that the spectre of de-regulation made many wonder about the inevitable Americanization of Canada's commercial airlines, but this is beyond the pale. I mentally excused the United Express situation by rationalizing that the Washington DC-Austin TX route was cut off because of some Bush Twins incident that ruined the fun for everyone else.

Thank God a new fiscal year is upon us and a new stack of upgrade coupons are in my hot little hand. Sheena predicts that the next armed attack on the forward cabin will not be a secondary wave of terrorists, but steerage making a move on the Business Class secret stash.