I Could Hide Out Under There

Such awful turmoil in the world this summer. All the news over the last few days about Israeli commandos raiding Hezbollah strongholds, or Israeli commandos sweeping over the Lebanese border. It certainly has made Sheena stop and think about more serious matters.

Like, why can't the IDF affort underpants for their solidiers.

But military expenditures aside, it has reminded me of one of the great cultural divides that face Canada today. And that is: Gitch vs. Gotch.

Growing up in Winnipeg, both variations were heard. As a kid, it was the boys on the playground snapping each other's gotch bands. As a teenager camping, it was making sure nobody ever saw yours. As a 20-something on the prowl, it was helping your best friend buy "courtin' gitch", because she had a date that night. You know, the kind with garter belts. Trying to say it was for a child under 13 so the clerk at the Bay wouldn't charge you provincial sales tax.

Arguing with another westerner, who used the rural Alberta redneck pronounciation of "gaunch", we first posited the theory that perhaps gitch was for girls, and gotch was for boys. A masculine/feminine divide. Unfortunately, that hypothesis didn't hold water during the next visit to Winnipeg, when gotch was clearly used in the context of 'matching bra'.

Sheena this evening is proud to announce that she has an answer to this question. A paradigm shift she has discussed with key stakeholders and at last is ready to share with her reading public. Look past the East-West split. Move beyond the male-female divide. The answer my friends is in your history. Gitch is your new underwear. The kind your mother wishes you'd wear when you run out in traffic.

Gotch is the past tense. The kind you wear on weekends after 10 years of marriage.





World Mystery #1 Solved. SheenaVision©