Monday, July 03, 2006

Free Socks

Sheena was born sans the chaussettes chromosone. Childhood was particularly difficult, walking around with heels facing up. Always seeming to lose them pulling off the winter boots. Adults around me were always trying to help, putting them on for me, only to see them half off and flopping down the hallway just steps later.

So as Sheena entered her adult years, she went to great lengths to cover up this affliction to the best of her ability. Eschewing socks and going barefoot in shoes. Selecting nylons or tights wherever fashion edicts would allow. Dealing with blisters more often than her immediate peer group competitors because she was often breaking in new shoes bareback.

Never buying socks. Ever.

So when the customer services minger leaned over the head of my seatmate in Row 22 and whispered "Passenger Sheena... excuse me, Passenger Sheena..." and offered to "move" me, my worries of the day evaporated.

After a rushed and unexpected reallocation to the 1pm flight instead of the 3pm flight, Sheena became cranky and agitated because the rushed personally-escorted fastracking through passport control and security meant there was no time for lunch, for buying reading material, or for digging something warm out of my bag.

Long haul Executive Class on Air Canada passengers get Free Socks. Colours suck. But it buys Sheena another few weeks of peace of mind not having to cruise the hosiery aisles. And that let me sleep.

Well, that and the free bubbly upon ass-in-seat-planting, and the 2 glasses Shiraz with the tenderloin.. and the port with the hot chocolate chip cookies, I guess...


At 7:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

knowing your prediliction for quality, you may wish to go high-end.

At 1:41 PM, Blogger K-Dough said...

Great feet twitch alike!

At 5:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah yeah, so hard done by... my heart is broken, my weekend spoiled, no Marmite crisps

At 6:31 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

I told you. I regret not buying the Marmite (TM) crisps when I saw them but I had no idea they were not a mainstream Sainsbury's product easily available anywhere out of the Lord Crossdressers manse.

STFU already, Conrad.

At 2:00 PM, Anonymous Evita said...

Well have no worries of not eating at the airport. I lunched in your place. You dined on a Ploughman's lunch. Not bad, but please don't confuse airport food with first class airplane food. I also shopped. Snagged a lovely Smith & Canova purse at Harrod's airport spot. Seems deals are better there because Mr. Harrod does not cruise that shop!

At 9:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

socks schmocks. Even though they're free you'll still be wearing them heels up rumpled around your ankles like a bad scrunchie on a transcona ho's mullet-headed ponytail.

At 9:09 AM, Blogger Sheena said...

Thanks Mom.


Post a Comment

<< Home