Friday, March 31, 2006

What Men Like


What Do Men Like? The distaff members of Sheenaville, as a general rule, don't worry their pretty little heads about such arcane matters, but this question has surfaced on more than on occasion.

The matter came up this week, and it reminded me of one of the more thorough explorations of this issue we conducted during a focus group meeting last summer.

A gruelling day long session of VQA market development was more than one committee member could take, so she exclaimed, "Boy I could use a cigarette". None of us were smokers, and she only smoked after focus group meetings, so supplies were not at hand.

"I think the boyfriend has some stashed at home", another participant offered. It must have been the bottle of Maui Blanc we had for dessert, but a wave of concern wafted over the room.


"We can't just steal his smokes and not pay him for them"
"You're right, but I didn't bring my purse"."How about an almost full Subway card"? "All I have is a British pound and a US dollar" "And some stamps too"


But! Sheena exclaimed.. We can't just give him crap. What Do Men Like? Let's give him something he'll like. Men like sex, men like candy, men like tickets to the game. But most of all, we realized that Men Like Bacon.

So our meeting facilitator ran to the kitchen, opened a pound of bacon, and lovingly placed each individual strip on a cookie sheet into a hot oven. (This way they cook perfectly straight - no curling up). The smell was amazing. The impact of our market research efforts intensified the aroma to an almost impossible level of porkish beauty. When perfectly crisp, the strips were removed from the stove.

Just one taste... Me too... There's lots.... move over... quit pushing..stop grabbing.

Then True Eternal Wisdom hit us like a Manolo between the eyes. What Men REALLY Like are happy women. And, well. That works for me.

5 Comments:

At 10:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

that candy thing is weird. why do men like candy. "hey, lady - got any candy?" i'm sick of it, sheena.

 
At 10:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I now have 'I Want Candy' by Bananarama as an earworm.

There was that peeler I knew whose stage name was Candy. I did like her. Trim little lady.

Other than than, not fond of sweets.

 
At 11:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dysfunctional women. Dangerously dysfunctional women.

 
At 2:40 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

Wow, very insightful comment anonymous. I suppose to make a ruling of "dysfunctional" one would have to define what the "function" of a woman is.

 
At 7:49 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

I'll quote a t-shirt I saw that made me laugh..."I like long walks on the beach...after anal".

 

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