More Cooking with Fruit

What to do with BC Cherries that are a few days old and you are heading out of town the next day but you feel too guilty about throwing them out. Or when it has just been too long since you torched something for sheer shits and giggles:

Cherries Jubilee à La Sheena

1. Cut up a bunch of cherries. Just slice them in half and pop out the pit. After doing a dozen or so look at the knife in your now dripping red hands and chase your friends around the room pretending you are a crazed stabby murderer.

2. Squeeze the hell out of an orange. Make sure you get all the juice by pretending that you are crushing the skull of someone that you hate.

3. Melt a big spoonful of butter in a proper frying pan. Meaning one that is all metal and not poisonous teflon coatings. Remember this is the pan you will soon set on fire.

4. When melted, throw in about a quarter cup of sugar, then the OJ.

5. Put the cherries in, and lightly dust with some cinnamon or something.

6. Cook the shit out of it for about 15 minutes, or until most of the juice is evaporated and it reminds you of those disgusting Harvard Beets your mom always puts on the table but no one ever eats.

5. In a separate small pan, gently warm up a 1/2 cup or so of some booze. Sheena used white rum, but could also be Grand Marnier or cognac depending on what is leftover from the night before.

6. Pour the warmed booze over the cherries, in a dry spot not too juicy and light a match to it. Cover your eyebrows. Best done at night so you can see the blue flame and get more ooh-ahs from your guests. If they do not ooh-ah to your satisfaction tell them to pay attention asshole or you aren't getting any.

7. Pour the warmed boozy cherries over good quality vanilla ice cream not the cheap chemical gross generic brands that give me the runs for the next 24 hours.

8. Enjoy and gloat over your wonderfulness as a hostess and act really exhausted so your guests will do the dishes.