Monday, May 12, 2008

The Perfect Food

Yes, you heard it here first. Sheena has at last identified the perfect food.

Drum roll.... please.

Ta da!

It is: The Pepperoni Stick.

Low carb, high protein. Better brands such as Pillers (the hometown hero) also bereft of awful milky/wheaty/soy shit filler.

The pepperoni stick is portable. It is dry. It is highly compact. You can put it in your pocket for later. Or tuck it in a wallet for the cab ride to the meeting. Or slyly and sexily pin up your thick wavy auburn locks until just that moment in the evening when you pull it out and let the hair slide into your eyes, taking a bite off the end for emphasis.

You can throw it across the room and nothing gets dirty. It looks just like a pen when you stick it behind the ear. It works as a pointer during an impassioned business plan review meeting.

Sheena defies her gentle readers to come up with anything as well rounded.



At 10:42 PM, Blogger Antonia Z said...

The Karnatzel. Even better.
All beef, spicier, chewier, less fat.
Kosher too!
Tastes yum on a slice of rye with mustard.

At 1:07 AM, Anonymous Midnight said...

You can toss it at a bear, as you slowly back away, in the woods.

You can use it to tickle your fancy.

You can whack your spouse on the head with it.

At 9:26 AM, Anonymous Midnight said...

Considered legal tender, north of Highway 7, and south of the Mason-Dixon line.

Will induce a Moose, to follow you anywhere...

The ultimate stir-stick, for a wicked Bloody Mary.

At 9:31 AM, Blogger Sheena said...

Sheena lurves the idea of the stir stick even though she detests Bloody Marys.

But now I feel compelled to execute on my idea for the Breakfast Martini and blog about it. I'll be famous then.

At 9:48 AM, Blogger rgraham666 said...

Thanks for the story idea, Sheena. :D

At 9:53 AM, Blogger Sheena said...

Rob... how many dozens of story ideas have I given you over the years? When do I get my Sheena story?

Though wait a sec... now I'm afraid to ask exactly what may be done with the pepperoni stick...


At 10:59 AM, Anonymous Midnight said...

I prefer Bloody Caesars, but apparently many outside of Canada, have never heard about them.
Just trying to stay international.
Gotta fly ...

At 1:07 PM, Anonymous sooey said...

They make pizza great, pepperoni sticks do.

At 10:07 PM, Blogger rgraham666 said...

I don't keep count, Sheena.

And I know. *blush* But I can't come up with a story that I believe is worthy of you.


At 4:58 PM, Blogger Chuckercanuck said...

well, I like all things bloody - alcohol and worcesteshire sauce is the perfect food combination.

but the perfect food item?

easy, Combos. Especially the new garden salsa stuffed torilla version. hmmmm...

ps. Sheena, if you know Flat Saddam, tell her/him the whole thing is awesomely funny.

At 12:32 PM, Anonymous scout said...


At 1:28 PM, Blogger 900 ft Jesus said...

Hi Sheena, sorry to contact you like this but have a question for you. Can be contacted at


At 6:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, not pepperoni sticks. Didn't Babciu call them kabanos? You should take a trip to Belarus before they start selling "low fat" chicken pepperoni like in the rest of the Baltic States.


ps: bouvet-laduray, "tresor" delivered to the house for 9 euros a bottle.

At 9:50 PM, Anonymous Putin said...

Long live the Empire!

At 7:06 AM, Anonymous Midnight said...

Nothing but the best ,

for my wicked , Baroness .

At 8:36 AM, Anonymous Midnight said...


Slinky , savagely sophisticated .

Elegantly , and absolutely , smokin'.

With a lingering sultriness

that doesn't leave you ,

in the morning .

At 4:42 PM, Blogger raymi lauren said...

did you go get a life or something

At 1:17 AM, Anonymous Midnight said...

It never hurts ,

to appeal ,

To Sheena's vanity .


Post a Comment

<< Home