Ah Yes, Of Course. If It's May... It Must Be the Tulip Fest

Perhaps it's the lingering back ache from the unfortunately paved parking lots in the Central Sierras, or perhaps it was watching the ambulance haul away the stair-tumbling dishwasher at the boring but safe Swagman Jack's Bar & Grill on Elgin Street, but tonight Sheena chooses to wear her curmudgeonly millinery.

Without fail we all endeavour to promote the Tulip festival whenever possible to all listeners as a time "to really see Ottawa", especially when communicating with foreign colleagues and associates. "Yes, yes... everything is so clean, and pretty, and well-maintained, and clean and pretty, and blah blah clean, blah blah well-maintained, and so on and so forth and more of the same". Enough already. The last time Sheena had anything remotely to do with the Tulip Festival we got tanked up and saw Kim Mitchell in cold pouring down rain at Major's Hill Park and then the next day walked off the hangover by going to the Humane Society to get a kitten.

Well, that cat died of old age some time ago and Kim Mitchell kinda looks like poor old Felix in his last days, now that I think about it.

Why Canadians insist upon letting the Dutch control their cultural calendar is beyond this observer's comprehension. Anyone who's flown KLM knows what I mean. Frickin' cheese sandwiches up the wazoo. At least one can feel part of the Amsterdam scene by crossing the bridge into Hull, but je digresse....

Here's a list of the officially sanctioned Corporate Friends. Hope they got the memo this week that they won't be allowed to give away any of those free passes. I mean, let's face it. Sheena lurves Trooper as much as the next gal, but anyone who can't find a way to see them for a tenth of the price at their local classic rock dive where you can at least buy a Black Label draft is just a big wanker.

We're here for a good time, not a long time, Baby.

May the squirrels gnaw your bulbs.