Sunday, October 14, 2007

Sheena's Home Cookin' #14

Ok. As some of Sheena's readers are aware, her fucking cocksucking piece of shit laptop fried itself and she is thus without the utilities to download her pictures to a reliable and regular location so just close your little eyes and imagine the pictures as you read this.

Je present: The Roasted Butternut Squash and Apple Soup. Perhaps the most perfect of the early fall orange coloured meals.

1. Buy one largish Butternut Squash. They are in season now and very cheap, so no excuses. Yes, it should sort of look like Jennifer Lopez from the back.

2. Cut it in half, from top down so you have two even halves.

3. Scoop out the gross goopage. Throw it away or save it for a disgusting prank later that evening.

4. Oil a cookie sheet or pizza pan. Sheena sprinkled a bit of dried rosemary on top of the oil right where the squash halves were going to go.

5. Put the squash halves flat side goopy side down on the pan in the wet spot.

6. Put into a 400ish degree oven, for about an hour.

7. About 1/2 way into the squash roasting, put a couple of apples on the pan. If you think you don't have any apples, check at the back of the bottom of the fridge where the crisper has a crack in it. You probably have some and don't even know it. Don't put them in at the start, because the apples will get way too explody and it is more to clean up later. Unless you are a tenant then don't worry so much.

7.5. Become utterly enchanted by the smell of the sweet roasty squash and apple and wonder how any man could possibly resist such bliss. Think about ways to bottle the aroma and sell it to strippers.

8. Take out the roasted finished product and let cool. When cool, chop into slices like a watermelon - should be squishy. Peel and chop into 1-2 inch cube sizes.

9. Get out a good metal cheese grater. Grate the following: 4 or 5 garlics, a piece of ginger the size of a thumb, one big onion.

10. Put the grated stuff in a big pot with warmed olive oil - a couple of spoonfuls so nothing gets stuck in the bottom of the pan.

11. Sautee until your eyes stop hurting like a son of a bitch from the onions and they are nice and soft and lightly browned.

12. Open up 3 cans of Mr. Gouda no MSG chicken stock (or homemade or other brands, but I hate the salty kinds).

13. Add the cubes of Butternut squash and whatever is left of the exploded apples to the onion mixture in the big pot.

14. Add the chicken stock. Simmer for 30 minutes. Or a bit more. Not the boss of you so relax.

15. Cool the soup mix. When cool puree either in a blender or Cuisinart. Sheena likes her hand blender where you can stick the wildly rotating blades into the pot and squirt the people across the room giving you the evil eye.

16. Rewarm as necessary. Add a pinch of cinnamon. Rip a bit of fresh dill off and garnish.

17. Declare victory in the Butternut Squash Soup smackdown on your favourite internet discussion forum.


At 6:49 PM, Anonymous spy said...

we need more pictures of the entire process!

At 6:52 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

Don't make me come over there, spy.

At 7:00 PM, Blogger rgraham666 said...

Pumpkin pie, with whipped cream, and none of that 'edible oil product' stuff, is my autumn food.


At 8:14 PM, Anonymous Fenderbender said...

shouldn't a Canjun squash soup start out with a "like Leah from behind"?

At 9:17 AM, Blogger whitenoise said...

I've never been a squash fan, but that actually looks pretty good. Post a nice photo of some roast beef, still pink in the middle, or prime rib au jus, and I'm yours forever, baby... ;-)

At 11:24 AM, Blogger Leatherhands said...

OMFG...thanks for this. Now I don't have to pay 10 bucks for a jar of Neil's Soup Kettle butternut squash.
My mouth is already watering as I imagine grinding half a mill's worth of peppercorns on that piece of art.

At 1:21 PM, Anonymous Fenderbender said...

what's with Neil's soup these days anyway? if that's premium give me back my Cambell's. Recently had a bottle of their gazpacho that was little more than tomato juice and a few chunks of cucumber... oh well, at least I can use the jars for my penny collection

At 1:39 PM, Blogger K-Dough said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 1:43 PM, Blogger K-Dough said...

Ever since you moved out to wherever the fuck it is, you're getting all Martha Stewardess and shit on our asses. Although, I have noticed an increase in your use of words like ciocksucker. Nice touch.

Come back to Metropolis sweet cheeks!

At 2:38 PM, Blogger Leatherhands said...

Yo, Fender. Neil's is inconsistent. It definitely depends on the soup. The Beef Barley is premium, but the Italian Minestrone is ca-ca. They must be outsourcing some of their stuff.
(Besides, my Italian wife gives me very dirty looks when I buy anything like that anymore, so I often turn to Sheena's blog for help. Either that, or get the back-handed slap of my freakin' life.)

At 9:07 PM, Blogger Sheena said...

Fender and Leather - I'm sorry. I love spending money stupidly but soups in jars is just something I can't bring myself to do. Good homemade soup is so cheap and usually quicker than people think if you can find a good low salt broth as a base.

KDough - Oooohhh you're just jealous.

At 5:49 AM, Anonymous Fenderbender said...

I know! I make most of my own soup and I make my own stock too! Just sometimes, time and skeds don't allow. I sentence you to 5 bowls of Lipton chicken noodle for intolerance.


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